last night as i lay thinking here...

its an odd thing - finals are over, soph year is done, my mind should be at its most relaxed, and most devoid of random thoughts and distractions. but in spite of that, im finding it hard to sleep. normally, my thoughts just fragment and lose all cohesiveness until i fall asleep, but lately they stay rational. too rational for my taste. instead of greek letters and orders of magnitude, i get replays of events and conversations that happened in the past days and weeks.

perhaps it is simply that my brain has nothing else to exert itself on, and so its amusing itself by playing through all the possibilities - had i turned left instead of right, said this instead of that, raised an eyebrow or laughed, what would have happened?

I hate these WhatIfs.

i had long ago convinced myself that such thoughts serve only to drive one mad (if i did this for every shot on the golf course i would probably have went off the deep end ages ago), but it doesn't help now. i guess the only solution is to work like mad for the entire day, so that there is no choice but to sleep out of exhaustion.