“I am Nobody – who are you?
Are you Nobody – too?”
-Emily Dickinson
In an almost hidden corner of a page, these short lines caught my eye, in that same, oddly insignificant way that I first laid eyes upon a golf club, the same way I first set my hands on a piano; it is the same way that a pebble in an ocean has negligible effect. I flipped onwards to my assigned reading, but these short words nudged at the edge of my mind, dormant still.
It took me a few years; it was in fact four years later when they resurfaced in my mind, when they pulled together some random vectors of thoughts and resolved them into one, creating, finally, one coherent idea – I am nobody.
It is a term that engenders much confusion, and not a few raised eyebrows. As the self-termed “cripple” Nancy Mairs noticed, others wince when we use such odd terms to define ourselves. It is an odd attitude, I grant you, especially here in an ivy league college where everyone seems out to establish their name in the field. But then, I am neither a burned out, unmotivated teenager, nor an unsuccessful student trying to hide behind a comfortable curtain of anonymity. To be nobody is not to be apathetic, but to be free; Captain Nemo, for example, and the Count of Monte Cristo, realized the freedoms of such a self-image long ago. Under the knowledge that one is free from the complications of fame, pride, and reputation, if one can continue to work simply for the sake of curiosity, then this work is worthwhile.
And thus, from this ideal, my goal – I hope in the future to be able to accomplish that which transcends personal achievement, so much so that a personal appellation is unneeded; I hope that I will someday be worthy of the title – Nobody.
(for those wondering, nemo is the latin word for 'nobody'.)
